Fantasy Graphics League Results for 2003

who is now himself worth 15 quatloos to hire, since he's first author on a SIGGRAPH 2003 paper on Keyframe Control of Smoke Simulations.

Here's our hard-hitting interview, culled from channel flipping and by typing "interview questions" into Google.

First, an easy one, to warm up. What time is it?

It's time for us to get a new President.

How did you get interested in car racing?

Wow, that's a great question! I was actually hoping you would ask that question, since I'm sure there are numerous readers who are curious to know the answer. It's really quite an interesting story, actually.

To what do you owe your success in this year's Fantasy Graphics League?

My success was almost certainly due my own ineligibility in the competition. Next year, I'll get cocky and recruit myself for my own team, and that will surely be my demise.

If you were made of one of these, which would it be: fire, or water? (I heard this one on the Miss Universe contest, and Miss Bosnia & Herzegovina did not give an insightful response.)

Well, as might be evidenced by my siggraph paper this year, I'd much rather be made of smoke than either of those.

As an aside, this reminds me of the question posed by Anthony Hopkins in The Edge (1997): "How can you make fire out of water?" The answer was something like "You freeze the water, melt the ice into a lens, use it to focus the sun to burn dried grass."

Hmm, this is not turning into a very insightful response either. Perhaps I should try out for Miss Universe...

How did you hear about this job opening?

Eric, I've been training for this job my whole life. When I was young, my parents always said, "Son, you have a gift, perhaps of divine nature, that cannot be ignored. Others may be granted looks, eloquence or mathematical ability--you clearly were passed over in those areas. Nevertheless, you do have the uncanny ability to pick which researchers will have papers accepted to siggraph. Whatever happens, don't let this gift go to waste."

What do you find so interesting about 16th century Germany?

Well, you know, I've always loved burritos and the two pretty much go hand in hand.

What spurs Diane to create this elaborate fantasy about Rita?

Hmm... yeah... Did I mention It's time for us to get a new President?

Certain duties come with being taken on to the mothership. How do you feel about getting grabbed by tentacles, particularly tentacles of alien masters?

Well you know what they say, "If you're going to be grabbed by tentacles, it may as well be by tentacles of alien masters." I think I'm up to the challenge.

That's that, then. Surprisingly, the sketches had absolutely no result on the top ten (unless I goofed, which of course never happens). So, the Top Ten Lab Directors are:

Points  Name & Lab
=========================================================
252.57  Antoine McNamara, The Inverse Kinematics
223.00  Brian Curless, Ankle twisters
221.00  Brett Allen, The Search for the Holy Grail
206.00  C. Karen Liu, Nutcrackers
199.00  Xavier Granier, HWG
192.00  Ville Miettinen and Timo Aila, Puoli koppaa
188.57  Aaron Hertzmann, Battle Purple Sea Urchin!
177.57  Hugues Hoppe, Power in numbers
177.00  Piotr Piastucki, Nightmare Labs
177.00  Eitan Grinspun, The Shape Operators 

out of 96 contestants. But, really, aren't we all winners here, each having learnt a bit more about our fellow researchers and what they are doing? No; people like me who scored 70 points are losers. The median score was 90.00, and was scored by Plastic Chicken (his personal name, not his team name). Aside from my personal favorite, Hertzmann's "Battle Purple Sea Urchin!", there were a number of other obscure and entertaining team names, including:

• Hire people smarter than yourself
• The Halfternions
• Ditheredoo
• Uncontrollable Number Crunchers
• Randomosity
• 5uP3r 1337 14b 734m (go here for a clue)
• The Team Formerly Known as Loser

If you like to read numerals, look at the preliminary results page for lots more info. The only stats that changed due to sketches were that sketch authors Radomír Mech and Haarm-Pieter Duiker were added to the list of most efficient authors, each with an efficiency of 2.0.

Here are a bunch of links filled with chewy goodness:

• This year's preliminary results, amazingly similar to the final results.
• This year's rules and entry form.
• Last year's results.
• Last year's rules and entry form.
• Previous to last year's results.
• Previous to last year's rules and entry form.
• Before the previous to last year's results.
• Before the previous to last year's rules and entry form.